Suburban Warrior

I just got off the phone with Chicken Little, aka Irene. Irene has worked herself into a complete state of panic over the possibility of the Bird Flu coming to our metropolitan area. Apparently, Irene was up all last night listening to a radio program warning of the flu's arrival, which then prompted her to get up and do some research on it on the internet...all at 3:00 am. Irene's on a mission now...there's no stopping Irene from finding an antidote...I do believe there is a puzzle piece missing from Irene's brain.

How does this affect Suburban Warrior? Well, Irene is insisting I implement some type of action plan for when this outbreak occurs. Uh, ok...but can I just get through this pregnancy first? It's hard to implement any type of action plan when one is ordered on bedrest by one's obgyn. And will SW's husband initiate a plan? His approach to stay safe is "just don't kiss any chickens". It's like after 9/11...I had to purchase the duct tape AND the plastic wrap AND the extra batteries AND the flashlights AND the water AND the transistor radio AND the First Aid Kit AND all the Rubberemaid containers to hold all of our stored emergency food for the home and car (which I often raid when I find myself short on food when friends drop by unannounced)!! And I won't even mention the bomb shelter I started digging...Yes, Suburban Warrior does it all. But this Bird Flu threat? My hands are tied. And do you think Irene could/would help me in this type of emergency? PUH-LEASE! She has us all dead within minutes of the first infected bird entering North American airspace.

Anyhoo, what are we to do?

Hey, why did the chicken cross the road? To infect Irene...