Suburban Warrior

Well, I bit the bullet and joined Little Gym for daughter #2. I did the baby class thing with Daughter #1...so...fair is fair. I hated every minute of it with Daughter #1, but we'll see...We took out a second mortgage so we could afford the cost as the price of LG is not much cheaper than college tuition (LG even refers to their time schedules as "semesters"...that kills me!). It would be very helpful to the parents if Little Gym would offer some type of 529 plan or scholarships to deserving families. For instance, my daughter is exceptional in parachute activity and clapping...skills the LG should recognize and encourage in their students. I believe an award involving price reduction or monetary credit is not out of the question. Just my opinion...

The problem with Elizabeth's class seven years ago was the mothers in the class. How could I put this delicately...they were idiots. First time moms tend to be that way. Hey, I admit I was a bit over the top at times, but nothing compared to some women. I remember one particular part of the class involved "discussion time". We sat in a big circle (after singing the required "Wheels on the Bus, "Where is Thumper?", and "If You're Happy and You Know It") and shared our thoughts/questions on parenting...That was the first problem. I don't like to share. And I really don't like sharing with complete strangers (why do I blog?). It was bad enough I had to enthusiastically bounce my child on my knees and pretend to enjoy acting out some ridiculous song about soldiers marching up a hill and back down every frickin class...but the discussion part just about sent me over the edge...the assinine questions these women asked amazed me!

MOMMY #1: "Um, yes, how do I wean my son?" (Call me Dr. Brazelton, but I do believe TAKING HIM OFF YOUR BREAST IS A GOOD PLACE TO START! duh).

MOMMY GENIUS #2: "My baby kicks his feet constantly, is that ok?". (NO!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP HIM!! His legs could fall off!!). Come to think of it, I remember Aunt Meggy calling me with this same question with regards to her first born...

MOMMY EINSTEIN #3: "How many times a day should I be changing Connor's diaper?" (FYI: Every child born between 1998-2000 was named either Connor or Meghan).

To top it off, one mom in our group had really funky eyes...both of her eyes were cross eyed. It was very annoying if she was sitting near me...I could never tell if she was addressing me or someone on the other side of the circle.

Anyhoo, Eileen and I went to our first class on Friday morning. We did all the aformentioned activities. To my great surprise I enjoyed every minute of it. I guess in my old age I'm getting soft. Or I've learned to appreciate what a great gift a child truly is...

Get me a tissue...