Monday, December 19, 2005
We're Doomed...We're Doomed!!
I just got off the phone with Chicken Little, aka Irene. Irene has worked herself into a complete state of panic over the possibility of the Bird Flu coming to our metropolitan area. Apparently, Irene was up all last night listening to a radio program warning of the flu's arrival, which then prompted her to get up and do some research on it on the internet...all at 3:00 am. Irene's on a mission now...there's no stopping Irene from finding an antidote...I do believe there is a puzzle piece missing from Irene's brain.
How does this affect Suburban Warrior? Well, Irene is insisting I implement some type of action plan for when this outbreak occurs. Uh, ok...but can I just get through this pregnancy first? It's hard to implement any type of action plan when one is ordered on bedrest by one's obgyn. And will SW's husband initiate a plan? His approach to stay safe is "just don't kiss any chickens". It's like after 9/11...I had to purchase the duct tape AND the plastic wrap AND the extra batteries AND the flashlights AND the water AND the transistor radio AND the First Aid Kit AND all the Rubberemaid containers to hold all of our stored emergency food for the home and car (which I often raid when I find myself short on food when friends drop by unannounced)!! And I won't even mention the bomb shelter I started digging...Yes, Suburban Warrior does it all. But this Bird Flu threat? My hands are tied. And do you think Irene could/would help me in this type of emergency? PUH-LEASE! She has us all dead within minutes of the first infected bird entering North American airspace.
Anyhoo, what are we to do?
Hey, why did the chicken cross the road? To infect Irene...
How does this affect Suburban Warrior? Well, Irene is insisting I implement some type of action plan for when this outbreak occurs. Uh, ok...but can I just get through this pregnancy first? It's hard to implement any type of action plan when one is ordered on bedrest by one's obgyn. And will SW's husband initiate a plan? His approach to stay safe is "just don't kiss any chickens". It's like after 9/11...I had to purchase the duct tape AND the plastic wrap AND the extra batteries AND the flashlights AND the water AND the transistor radio AND the First Aid Kit AND all the Rubberemaid containers to hold all of our stored emergency food for the home and car (which I often raid when I find myself short on food when friends drop by unannounced)!! And I won't even mention the bomb shelter I started digging...Yes, Suburban Warrior does it all. But this Bird Flu threat? My hands are tied. And do you think Irene could/would help me in this type of emergency? PUH-LEASE! She has us all dead within minutes of the first infected bird entering North American airspace.
Anyhoo, what are we to do?
Hey, why did the chicken cross the road? To infect Irene...
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Let Me Explain...
No, I am not dead and I have not retired to Leisure World (MUSH!). I wasn't too worried about my readers' entertainment needs as there is always Irene's Scene (not as good, but a work in progress).
Anyhoo...let's recap the last month or so in my house, shall we...My daughter had a terrible case of strep throat, Warrior had the stomach flu, Warrior went to the hospital because of preterm labor, Warrior was sent home with medication to combat preterm labor, Warrior returns to the hospital this time because Warrior's outdoorsy husband, Paul Bunyon, practically cut his hand off with an ax while chopping wood (no comment) and needed some of his digits stitched back into place and put into a splint, Warrior TURNED FORTY, and last night, Warrior returned to the hospital because of contractions again. We are currrently in the process of trading in our minivan for an ambulance.
And how have you been?
Anyhoo...let's recap the last month or so in my house, shall we...My daughter had a terrible case of strep throat, Warrior had the stomach flu, Warrior went to the hospital because of preterm labor, Warrior was sent home with medication to combat preterm labor, Warrior returns to the hospital this time because Warrior's outdoorsy husband, Paul Bunyon, practically cut his hand off with an ax while chopping wood (no comment) and needed some of his digits stitched back into place and put into a splint, Warrior TURNED FORTY, and last night, Warrior returned to the hospital because of contractions again. We are currrently in the process of trading in our minivan for an ambulance.
And how have you been?
