Sunday, September 25, 2005
Irene's Big Pie Hole!!
Well, for all you family members/friends out there who DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WITH CHILD...I'm glad IRENE could be the one to share MY big news!!! Yes, yes, years of infertility and praying for another child finally paid off and IRENE felt she should be the one to make the public announcement...did I tell you that in addition to lacking breasts, Irene possesses a "God complex"?? I guess tiny tits and a hairy body give you special priviledges!! And I won't even mention Irene's third nipple...Speaking of Irene's husband, Roberto...yes, he is a saint. I mean who else could put up with that constant high pitched buzzing sound (Irene's voice) spewing forth self righteousness?? I truly feel for Roberto...Irene is a vulture that is slowing sucking the blood/life right out of him. Let's all have a moment of silence for Roberto...
Anyhoo...as MENTIONED, I am with child. I just completed my first trimester and things are looking good. My blog has been lacking (thanks to all of you who so generously AND continually pointed that out!!) due to feeling very under the weather. Hopefully, things will get better...In the near future, I will direct you as to where you can send gifts and money donations. I will also be asking for baby name ideas...HOWEVER, I think we all know the following names WILL NEVER BE CONSIDERED: Harry John, Anthony, and IRENE!
Anyhoo...as MENTIONED, I am with child. I just completed my first trimester and things are looking good. My blog has been lacking (thanks to all of you who so generously AND continually pointed that out!!) due to feeling very under the weather. Hopefully, things will get better...In the near future, I will direct you as to where you can send gifts and money donations. I will also be asking for baby name ideas...HOWEVER, I think we all know the following names WILL NEVER BE CONSIDERED: Harry John, Anthony, and IRENE!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Give It A Rest People!!
I don't know how many times I have to explain this to some of you, but...I DO HAVE A LIFE AND SOMETIMES OTHER THINGS WILL COME BEFORE THIS BLOG. Geez. Why don't some of you get on Irene...she's the one green with envy over McDonalds' clothing...talk about needing a life!!
Anyhoo...Suburban Warrior had to call Poison Control this morning after a little mishap!! It all started last night as my daughter was up ALL night screaming in pain about her sore throat...which was really annoying. But I do have some maternal instincts, so I threw some Motrin down her throat and invited her into our wedding bed. Well, I think we all know how much sleeping gets done under those conditions...between Elizabeth sleeping on my head, crying in pain, and suffering from "restless legs syndrome" (as well as my hubby's usual nocturnal noises--which is putting it nicely!) I got no sleep!!! Which does NOT make for a happy Warrior. And am I thinking of my daughter's discomfort? NO NO NO!! All I'm thinking is, "damn, she can't possibly go to school tomorrow...there goes my shopping!". Anyway...I'll get to the poisoning part now...Apparently, Elizabeth climbed out of our bed and went and got the thermometer. She returned to our bed with the thermometer sticking out of her mouth (she's such a drama queen!). After a few minutes, she taps me and requests that I read the results. Well, when I take the thermometer out of her mouth I notice the tip that was in her mouth is totally broken...with shards of what was left of the tip shattered and jutting out of the stem. Hmmm...I wonder where the plastic covering went? I wonder where the broken shards went? I WONDER WHERE THE MERCURY WENT?? You guessed it!! Now, I HAD to get up!
Anyhoo...poison control was very helpful and told me not worry that it would all come out in Elizabeth's stool. There's something to look forward to tonight!!
Anyhoo...Suburban Warrior had to call Poison Control this morning after a little mishap!! It all started last night as my daughter was up ALL night screaming in pain about her sore throat...which was really annoying. But I do have some maternal instincts, so I threw some Motrin down her throat and invited her into our wedding bed. Well, I think we all know how much sleeping gets done under those conditions...between Elizabeth sleeping on my head, crying in pain, and suffering from "restless legs syndrome" (as well as my hubby's usual nocturnal noises--which is putting it nicely!) I got no sleep!!! Which does NOT make for a happy Warrior. And am I thinking of my daughter's discomfort? NO NO NO!! All I'm thinking is, "damn, she can't possibly go to school tomorrow...there goes my shopping!". Anyway...I'll get to the poisoning part now...Apparently, Elizabeth climbed out of our bed and went and got the thermometer. She returned to our bed with the thermometer sticking out of her mouth (she's such a drama queen!). After a few minutes, she taps me and requests that I read the results. Well, when I take the thermometer out of her mouth I notice the tip that was in her mouth is totally broken...with shards of what was left of the tip shattered and jutting out of the stem. Hmmm...I wonder where the plastic covering went? I wonder where the broken shards went? I WONDER WHERE THE MERCURY WENT?? You guessed it!! Now, I HAD to get up!
Anyhoo...poison control was very helpful and told me not worry that it would all come out in Elizabeth's stool. There's something to look forward to tonight!!
