Suburban Warrior

We're gearing up for our annual beach trip to Emerald Isle, NC!!

Do you ever notice how much preparation goes into getting ready for a beach trip? And I'm not talking about organizing your children's crap or the laundry or hunting for your husband's bathing suit...I'm referring to all the little shit pertaining to MY body alone. As far as I'm concerned, everyone else can fend for themselves. Preparing myself for the beach becomes my full time job the week prior to our departure.

Things you may let slide at home suddenly become very important leading up to a beach vacation. For instance, the hair growing on your big toe. That needs to go. The big callous on your heel...lop it off before you hit the sand. Overall body hair removal is another essential! One should not be mistaken for Big Foot on the beach. Timing/time management is necessary if this is to be done correctly. For the longest lasting effects of the razor, one must wait until right before one gets in the car to leave for the beach to shave ALL hair from the body. If not, you will spend a significant amount of time in the car, in the sunlight, complaining to your husband about how hairy your legs are. And you know what? He won't care. Exfoliate? I know women should exfoliate on a regular basis for healthy looking skin, but to be honest, the only time I exfoliate is right before I slather on some type of fake tan cream (which always turns into a complete disaster anyway). And don't forget the obvious...pedicure, manicure, bikini, eyebrow and lip wax!!

So, tonight you can find me, locked in the bathroom, with Nair on my upper lip, between my legs, on my legs, on my toes...basically everywhere but my eyes...