Suburban Warrior

Well, the circus has come to town...

That's right, step right up...and see the craziness of Harry John's family!!! The lot of them barrelled down Interstate 95 yesterday from Jersey and arrived safely in their sleek Ford Windstar (I want everyone to know my sister drives a Windstar because she hates minivans and can't believe she drives one...she's too cool. And a Windstar?? That's the trailer trash of minivans. Well, at least it's not a Kia. At least I drive a Grand Caravan. Plus, I'm really pretty so it doesn't really matter what I drive, I still get lots of stares).

Now, let me explain something about Harry John and his family. They are from Jersey...and like a lot of people I know from Jersey...they are LOUD LOUD LOUD!!! I think the kids are secretly wearing mini-amplifiers in their shirts...they simply do not possess the average conversational voice range...everything is stated in a VERY, VERY LOUD WAY!!! I can not emphasize this enough. Now, my daughter is no shrinking violet in the speech category, but this is something entirely out of her league. And the funniest part of these Jersey kids is they begin every sentence with, "hey, guess what?...".

Jersey kid #1: "Hey, Aunt Kelli, guess what?"

ME: "What?"

Jersey kid #1: "Umm, ummm, you know what?"

ME: "No, what?"

Jersey kid #1: "Guess what I want for breakfast?"

ME: "Pancakes?"

Jersey kid #2: "No, I don't want pancakes!!! Guess what I want? Guess..., guess what cereal we eat in New Jersey?"

ME: "Um, Kashi maybe...?"

Jersey kid #1: "Aunt Kelli, guess what? I don't know what Kashi is...Guess what Aunt Kelli?"

And round and round we go!!

Oh, and on top of all THIS noise, we are in the process of having a screen porch added to our house. So, each "Aunt Kelli, guess what?" is followed by a loud round of nail gun fire...

Guess what? I'm going insane.