Suburban Warrior

I know, I know...I've been missing in action for the last few weeks!! Well, my house doesn't clean itself, hot meals don't cook themselves, the grass can't mow itself, Paul can't take care of himself, the frickin computer can't uncrash itself, Elizabeth can't drive herself to swimming and soccer lessons, and God knows no one else will pick up the dog's crap from the backyard! Well, ok, I don't do much of the above either...except for the last two.

Yes, that's right, Haley Dog is back with us and decorating the backyard with a vengeance. I sure hope her owners are enjoying the sun and the fun while I scoop up her fecal matter six times a day. But Haley loves us...why else would she stand at our bedroom door every morning at 6:00 am and whine to be with us? And Elizabeth loves her so much that she has been waking up two hours earlier than usual to be with the damn dog!! (Which reminds me of something Haley's owner complained about when she called me from Florida to check on her beloved Haley...SHE was annoyed because her kids, ON VACATION, were rising earlier than usual to get to their special VACATION cereal, Lucky Charms! Boy, did I feel sorry for HER, ON VACATION, having to deal with that!! Unless her kids ate the cereal and then crapped all over her condo floor, I think I'm putting up with much more!!). Additionally, Elizabeth won't leave Haley alone until...Elizabeth goes into a sneezing/wheezing fit for about an hour from all the dog hair that is now covering her and every piece of furniture within a two mile radius...Please be my witnesses and never let me break this vow: I WILL NEVER EVER LET ELIZABETH GET A DOG.

Anyhoo...as I said in a previous post, some of us are just givers...and as long as my friends are happy ON VACATION, then I am fulfilled as well. I just better get more than a damn tshirt as payment.